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User:Jkarp/Favorite Quotes

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Vanity is a vain enterprise on a Wiki, but I will try my best. Here is a list of quotes that I find rather amusing. If you don't do me the favor of leaving them here, rather than taking them down. Send me a message if you are particulary offended by one before you remove it. Anyway, here goes the list.




  • "UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."

Dennis Ritchie


  • "The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again."

Al Goodman


  • "In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear."

John C. Dvorak


  • "The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."

Nathaniel Borenstein


  • I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison."

WC Fields


  • "There are lies, damned lies and statistics."

Mark Twain


  • "Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones."

Mike Barfield


  • "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."

Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872


  • "When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction."

Steven Wright


  • "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

David Dinkins, New York City Mayor


  • "The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep."

George Stephanopolous, aid to President Clinton


  • "Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

Tom Lehrer